My first question to God when I get there is, “Why me?! Why was I worth saving?”
Up to the age of forty I wasn’t the most despicable human being on the planet but I generally made the podium for most events. Infidelity, abject cruelty, extreme arrogance, you name it and I was the poster child.
One day, after seeing my 6 year-old son’s face after I humiliated him for something so small I don’t even remember what it was, I walked out into one of my pastures, fell to my knees, put my face in the dirt and begged God to take my life.
I waited a few seconds for the bolt of lightning and when it didn’t come I then begged Him to please stop my insanity. I told Him he could have a blank check and whatever He wrote on it, I’d make sure it cleared.
4 days later, He pulled back the curtain and let the world see just what an Olympic-class asshole I really was. Wife left me, son and daughter disowned me, most of my friends stopped talking to me.
Took me 10 years to climb back out of that mineshaft I’d dug. And He never once let go of my hand.
Grace is an odd thing. And of course it’s not deserved. That Jesus would die for my sins is utterly incomprehensible.
Loved this reflection on faith…makes me think of how my mom always taught me that true Devotion is a reckoning of the heart, mind, and soul to ignite your fire and zeal for Life, a way to understand what is absolutely real…that reckoning is necessary in order to be humbled enough to embrace all that you don’t know in this beautiful and expansive world God created. Another great one 🔥
Amen. Read into Transcendental Thomism, Rahner, Lonergan and all those that have come since: an excellent antidote to the current nonsense going on. Personally I dig Lonergan and his four-fold structure of consciousness. Quite a ride.
You write with power and truth.. You helped me regain my relationship with God. My favorite reads are when you share about God. Daisy is a close second. You and I live our faith and freedom differently, but we both have the throttle at warp speed. Keep writing.
Live like you’re your own favorite character in the movie you created. Make yourself worthy of buying posters of yourself. People love the one who DOES shit, even if it costs him everything
It's not just megachurch Christians, no less than ten minutes ago I got called "cryptic" and "feminine" for quoting Scripture to so called "Orthodox Christians" who promptly blocked me in what can only be described as a feminine tactic. It's ok though. I forgive them. May God have mercy on their souls.
My first question to God when I get there is, “Why me?! Why was I worth saving?”
Up to the age of forty I wasn’t the most despicable human being on the planet but I generally made the podium for most events. Infidelity, abject cruelty, extreme arrogance, you name it and I was the poster child.
One day, after seeing my 6 year-old son’s face after I humiliated him for something so small I don’t even remember what it was, I walked out into one of my pastures, fell to my knees, put my face in the dirt and begged God to take my life.
I waited a few seconds for the bolt of lightning and when it didn’t come I then begged Him to please stop my insanity. I told Him he could have a blank check and whatever He wrote on it, I’d make sure it cleared.
4 days later, He pulled back the curtain and let the world see just what an Olympic-class asshole I really was. Wife left me, son and daughter disowned me, most of my friends stopped talking to me.
Took me 10 years to climb back out of that mineshaft I’d dug. And He never once let go of my hand.
Grace is an odd thing. And of course it’s not deserved. That Jesus would die for my sins is utterly incomprehensible.
But He did.
Only those who have swam deep understand the heights of grace
And how good that air tastes once you stop drowning in the regret
Loved this reflection on faith…makes me think of how my mom always taught me that true Devotion is a reckoning of the heart, mind, and soul to ignite your fire and zeal for Life, a way to understand what is absolutely real…that reckoning is necessary in order to be humbled enough to embrace all that you don’t know in this beautiful and expansive world God created. Another great one 🔥
THANK YOU !
You need to write a book man.
It's coming
I’ve read the Bible through maybe 7-8 times now. A chapter every morning since the 90’s, more or less. Best I’m able to summarize:
1. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and;
2. For God so loved the world…
I both fear and love the Lord.
Switching channels now, Day:
So I’m a big fan of blue agave. Yeah you’ll probably poopoo it but I like it, on ice or maybe just a splash of well water.
Lately I’ve started thinking it’s gotten a bit too tame, like what drove my recent switch from traditional bourbon, to rye whiskey.
Never had mezcal. What brand do you recommend.
Start with illegal or casamigos
Got a bottle of Illegal today, they didn’t have Casamigos. I poured 2 fingers just now.
Dang. I’m impressed. The smoke is the icing on the cake.
Thanks for the recommendation.
Smiling at the thought you actually went and got it
I will pour up now cuz of you
Cheers
Will do. Thanks.
👍
A perfect essay, requires no additional commentary…
Thanks Homie
Amen. Read into Transcendental Thomism, Rahner, Lonergan and all those that have come since: an excellent antidote to the current nonsense going on. Personally I dig Lonergan and his four-fold structure of consciousness. Quite a ride.
I will add it to my list
You write with power and truth.. You helped me regain my relationship with God. My favorite reads are when you share about God. Daisy is a close second. You and I live our faith and freedom differently, but we both have the throttle at warp speed. Keep writing.
Love this article amigo.
I ran for over 50 years. And finally stopped and realized it was me running.
He waited. And I am thankful.
He is Risen.
Beautiful mate.
THANKS NANCY
Amen.
God Bless
Go to a Latin Mass. Does not get more masculine than that.
Need to do that I reckon
Your God pieces. They always cut. A stained and broken glass, tossed in the sea, picked up years later and worn around the neck. Fantastic.
Thanks Dylan
Live like you’re your own favorite character in the movie you created. Make yourself worthy of buying posters of yourself. People love the one who DOES shit, even if it costs him everything
How I been living for a min
Thank you, man. Stay wild and free.
God Bless
You know why so many American men stay away from churches?
Because they rightly suspect that the minute after they give their hearts to Jesus, they'll have to give their balls to the ladies' altar guild.
I told that to a friend who's a traditional Catholic priest. He agreed.
I gave my heart to Jesus.
My balls are still intact.
Jesus doesn’t ask us to become eunuchs. He merely asks us to acknowledge and accept his sacrifice.
It is not required
you should lead your girl like Christ leads the church
It's not just megachurch Christians, no less than ten minutes ago I got called "cryptic" and "feminine" for quoting Scripture to so called "Orthodox Christians" who promptly blocked me in what can only be described as a feminine tactic. It's ok though. I forgive them. May God have mercy on their souls.